Specified Bags

For some days now garbage has sitting in my kitchen in an ordinary plastic bag, waiting for the day that I would actually find one to specify what a "specified bag" was, so that I would be able to throw it away without risking a hefty fine and eviction. Today I finally spotted them in this little store next to the cafeteria where I generally eat dinner, up by the register, and overpriced the way things only can be when there's a law that says you have to buy it anyway.

So, I know some of you are wondering: what is a specified bag?

It's a bag from the shelf marked "specified bags," silly.